We’ve all seen videos of dogs that can perform behavior after behavior perfectly. These seconds-long videos leave viewers wowed and inspired that their dog should behave just as perfectly. When I first developed an interest in animal behavior, I was so intrigued by the apparent “perfection” of the dogs listening to each and every cue. I was most impressed by in person demonstrations where a dog would repeatedly listen to cues for a long duration of time as the trainer had a booth advertising their services at a big event. These dogs were listening live amidst so many distractions and not making any mistakes! I aspired to be that good of a trainer.

As a certified professional dog trainer and behavior consultant with years of experience, first earning my certifications and then working with dogs professionally, I have a very different view now of “perfectly behaved” dogs. First, I understand canine body language so much better and can see that the dogs performing are often stressed. Can dogs have fun and perform behaviors perfectly without stress? Absolutely! I think of popular positive reinforcement trainers like Emily Larlham with her Kikopup YouTube channel and I am constantly amazed at what she can accomplish with her dogs. However, you can also see that her dogs are happy to listen to cues because they were well trained using methods that make learning fun for the dogs. Unfortunately, this is often not the case for many of the “impressive” videos we see. Dogs trained with shock collars, force, and punishment have a very different training experience. They try hard not to make mistakes because they’re afraid to do so. Living in fear of making a mistake is no way to live for any creature on this planet.

There is no perfect person, and every day we make mistakes. From leaving the milk out, to forgetting to lock the door, to texting back the wrong person, to dropping things or hurting people’s feelings. Making mistakes is a part of being alive. Yet somehow we expect dogs to never make a mistake. It comes down to our own egos taking a hit when we’re not listened to. We think somehow it reflects badly on us.

I’m guilty of this too! Once, as a novice trainer, I was outside practicing a behavior chain with my dog, Annie. It started with Sit, and went into more complicated behaviors we didn’t quite have down yet. I cued her to Sit, and she refused. I cued her again and still nothing. “You know this, it’s so easy! Why won’t you do it?” I exclaimed to her. She stared right at me and I sat there stubbornly cuing her again thinking she was being defiant. She finally sat, kinda awkwardly but she sat. Something in my gut told me something wasn’t right. I tossed a treat so she could walk away to get it and I noticed her little tush had a bright red, irritated hotspot and it was uncomfortable for her to sit. I felt so guilty, and right then and there I made a promise to myself to always listen to the dogs I trained.

Dogs have SO MANY reasons for not listening to a known cue. Discomfort, pain, worry about something in the environment, overexcitement, forgetfulness and confusion (it happens to us too!), or any number of other reasons. Mistakes are also a natural part of the learning process, so when these natural mistakes are punished, it negatively impacts the learner and their enthusiasm and confidence. Now that I am more experienced in working with animals and am no longer the overzealous dog trainer with a big ego, I use refusal to listen as information. Instead of being upset that a dog made a mistake, I get curious and try to figure out why. My sweet and patient Annie taught me an important lesson and I am so grateful that she helped me to become more patient and kind in my approach to training dogs.

So what’s the secret to a dog that obeys every cue perfectly? It’s a robotic dog, because only a robotic dog will never make a mistake. As much as any trainer would like to tell you their dog never makes a mistake, every living being makes mistakes. Dogs are sentient and intelligent beings and I for one want to experience the full spectrum of my dog’s personality. When animals aren’t trained with punishment they feel confident enough to offer new behaviors which ends up in some pretty creative tricks! Not only do I gain a more thorough understanding of my dog’s likes and dislikes, but we’re able to take better care of our dogs by noticing when they’re experiencing discomfort, pain, or anxiety. Best of all, we build deeper bonds with our dogs as we help them feel seen and listened to. After all, that’s the most important part of any relationship and is the foundation of trust. So embrace those mistakes your dog makes and learn from them because they are telling you something.

Will you listen?